This week would have been my fathers' birthday. He passed back in June 2021.
Loosing a family member is never easy, but this was an especially strange time, COVID-19 was still at large and just getting over to France for his cremation was a challenge.
During the few days both my brother and I were there, I did wonder if my mother would return to England. The French retirement plan was always on the cards, and it was something my parents had been planning for as long as I can remember. However, life changes and loosing your life partner might have changed her mind, moving back closer to family would be a decision no one would question.
It is now 2025 and life very much continues in France. Our trips and visits are noticeably different, and the vibes have changed, which is completely to be expected, I guess. My mum is happy living in a foreign country and continues to embrace the French lifestyle. She is making many friends and enjoying life as best she can.
Whenever I speak to people regarding my parents, and they do not know any background, I struggle to explain the situation. My head goes to the default answer of ‘My parents live in France’, notice the plural. This then leads me into the need to qualify that my father passed away. So sometimes I go with, ‘My mum lives in France’. Whilst that solves the problem, I always wonder if the recipient goes to the assumption that my parents live in different locations.
This feels like such a strange position I have created for myself, but it is something I never thought would be and one that completely sideswiped me. The good part I guess is that my dad is always in my mind to this day, some four years later.